What is the Looking-Glass Self?

 


And how can this theory make you a better person?

In 1902, American sociologist Charles Horton Cooley introduced the concept of the Looking-Glass Self in his book Human Nature and the Social Order.

Cooley said that a person’s concept of self is developed through their interpersonal interactions and their perception of how others view them.

He said that there are 3 stages to this theory:

  1. We imagine how we appear to others.
  2. We imagine their judgment of that appearance.
  3. We develop our sense of self through the judgments of others.

For example, a basketball player receives compliments on his playmaking skills.

He starts to believe he is a good playmaker and starts thinking of all of the plays he’s going to make in the next game (1). He then imagines how people will respond to his plays (2). Then, he starts believing that he is a skilled point guard (3).

However, the looking-glass self can also be negative.

For example, a high school student is bullied for how she dresses and acts.

She starts believing all of the mean things that are said about her and is constantly wondering why they say those things (1). She gets dressed for school one morning, but as she leaves her room, she looks into the mirror and imagines what her bullies will say about her (2). She then starts believing that she is a loser (3).

Takeaway:

Understanding the Looking-Glass Self can make you a better person because it shows you how your words and behaviours can affect a person’s thoughts about themselves.

It can help you be more careful with what you say to people and how you treat them; it can help you be more empathetic and kind.

For instance, there’s an awkward person on your rec league basketball team who’s kind of shy and awkward.

You, understanding how your interactions could affect their sense of self, include them in conversations and make them feel like they are part of the team instead of excluding them.

This is how the Looking-Glass Self can make you a better person.

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